So You Want to Lose Some Weight...

I have many conversations with people who identify as women about weight and body image. And they are not conversations about how happy they are with their bodies, I can tell you.

No indeed. Virtually every woman I talk to about their bodies focuses on one or more aspects that they dislike.

I am too tall or too short.

My shape is weird. My legs are too big. My stomach is too big.

I don't like my skin, my hair, my facial features, my freckles, my wrinkles, my age spots, my teeth, my small eyes.

I am too flabby. I am out of shape.

And for almost all of them, weight is the main issue. I am too big. I need to lose ____ pounds. Or if they are quite slim, the big concern is not gaining a pound. Because that would be disastrous.

The comments are varied and detailed. The monologue has been perfected by years of endless rehearsal and repetition. The belief system is firmly entrenched.

I looked up a few studies that surveyed the percentage of women who had at least one negative thought about their body every day and in all of them it was over 90%, some as high as 97%. And it is estimated that less than 5% of women have the bodies that media and society tells us is ideal. It is a game that is rigged for us to lose. That's why the diet industry is so absurdly lucrative.

Women are indoctrinated from childhood that their bodies need to be a certain size and shape and need to look a particular way in order to meet the approval of those looking at it, usually men that we are supposed to attract.

We spend our lives chasing something that others have told us that we should want and that is only even feasible for less than 5% of us.

And that chase keeps us from focusing on the really important things in life. Things like love and fun and adventure and our dreams and freedom and ease and contributing to the world at the height of our powers.

We are so distracted by chasing the number on the scale that we forfeit what we are really here on this earth to do and enjoy.

I often joke that if I took all the time I have spent in my life trying to lose weight and I used that energy on something that really matters, I could have found a cure for a major disease or cracked the code for solving the climate crisis. I mean, really! What a waste! What a fucking waste!

So you want to lose some weight...

My question is why?

I want you to really ask yourself why.

And when you answer that question, I am willing to bet you could have all those things right now.

I want to lose weight so I look better in my clothes. If you buy attractive clothes that fit well today, you will look awesome in your clothes - right now. Because how often do we buy cheap, crappy, body concealing clothes because we are waiting till we lose weight before we buy what we really want to wear.

I want to lose weight so I can go to the beach. You can go to the beach today. And there you will find people of all shapes and sizes, all equally worthy to be at the beach.

I want to lose weight so I can look good in the photos at my child's wedding. In those photos, you will see the love shining out through your beautiful face because you are so dang happy for your child. This will be true regardless of your weight.

I could go on and on.

We are focused on the wrong thing. We have bought into a ridiculous societal standard about what we should look like and it is stealing our joy, right now, every day! It has got to stop.

I would like you to try to live one day as though a miracle has happened. Somebody waved a wand and we are now in a world where weight doesn't matter. How do you feel? What do you do? What does your world look like when the majority of your mental and emotional energy isn't going into worrying about your body and how you are going to lose weight.

Please go and try that for one day. I hope you become addicted to that feeling and do it for the next day and the next and the next.

Let's free ourselves from the nonsensical, external ideal that is keeping us trapped and playing small in our lives. Freedom awaits!

I love you. I cheer for you.